Cross-Country Move!

Dear Devony,

I’m making a big cross-country move and I’m really nervous/scared of failure. How do I get myself out of this mindset and start seeing the bright side of starting in a new place?

Hey hey! Thank you for reaching out. I know it’s super scary to ask for help, but I am quite familiar with moving (15+ times) and bopping around from place to place so I definitely have some tips to make this transition smoother! But, try to be kind to yourself. Moving is tough on everyone, especially with the current uncertainty of the world making it even tougher.

1. Who’s in your network?

Ask yourself, who do you know in this new area? Do you have friends that already live in the city? Old co-workers or family perhaps? Do any of your friends in your current city know people where you are moving?

This is an awesome opportunity to expand your network and reach out to people beforehand! Reconnecting with old acquaintances or messaging new contacts can help build a sense of community in an unfamiliar city. You won’t end up being best friends with all these people of course, but it can be nice to grab coffee or take a walk with someone you are comfortable with just to get a feel for the area.

Not only will these connections help you feel a little more grounded before you head out, but they will surely be able to give some good local recs for ya of all their favorite spots!

2. De-clutter and Organize

This is a big one for me! It’s important to be conscious of what you’re packing for a big move. You likely do not need (or want) EVERYTHING you own to move across the country with you. What can you consolidate? Donate? Sell? Get rid of?

Be methodical when you set out to tackle this particular task. Pull every box in your room (not all at once!) and dump them out. Sort through your stuff mindfully. Ask thoughtful questions if you hesitate over an item. Why am I keeping this? Does it still serve a purpose? When was the last time I used it?

Clearing things out that no longer serve you will create space in your life for new things that do! This is an opportunity to minimize the physical baggage you are carrying with you into your new home. It can definitely be a challenge to part with some items, but I assure you that letting things go will give you a sense of lightness moving forward.

3. What excites you most about moving?

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in an anxiety spiral and start planning for all the worst possible outcomes. In my experience, this is NOT a productive thought pattern to continue. I always think of the old adage, “Worrying just means you suffer twice.” If something bad is going to happen, it’ll happen whether you stress it or not. Worrying just ensures that you don’t enjoy the present moment while you’re in it.

The key is focusing on the right things. We always have a choice on what direction we guide our thoughts! Ask better questions and you will get better answers to work with.

For example: asking yourself, “What if I move and it’s awful and I hate it?” is not a productive line of thinking. A far better way to phrase that question to yourself is, “How can I best set myself up for greatness in my new home?”

Also, you are moving for a reason! There has to be something exciting or worthwhile about this new spot that has made you want to move in the first place. 😉

If all else fails, make a list of the things you are most excited to do when you get to your new home. Maybe it’s trying some new restaurants down the street or a coffee date with a friend out there or just walking around your new neighborhood! Write it as a physical list that you can carry with you during your flight or drive, and be sure to check things off as you go. 😊

“Quality questions create a quality life.

Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

Tony Robbins

4. Breathe

The simplest things are often the most overlooked. When you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious, give yourself some grace and take a few deep breaths. Try to stay conscious and mindful of your breathing: in for five slow counts, out for five. Focusing on your breath leaves little room in your brain to conjure up worst case scenarios!

Remember the positive things that inspired your move. Think of that list of fun things waiting when you arrive. Take some time to let the gratitude for this upcoming experience wash over you.

5. Embrace the new opportunities!

New places and life changes always come with new opportunities. If you create space for these opportunities now (in both your mind and your physical environment), you will be better equipped to welcome them with open arms!

I hope some of this advice helps your cross-country move feel a little less overwhelming. ❤️ I truly have loved every place I moved for one reason or another. Taking that plunge can be scary, but also exhilarating and I KNOW you will be so grateful you did! Life pulls us into these tough spots for a reason. After all, “Diamonds are made under pressure.” 💎

I am SO stoked for you to start this journey and can’t wait to hear how it goes! You got this!!!

Love and hugs,

Devony

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